Eating Disorders and the Holidays: Navigating Festive Seasons with Peace
Introduction
The lights twinkle along the Champs-Élysées, the scent of roasted chestnuts fills the air, and everywhere you turn, there's this implicit command: "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Yet for those living with an eating disorder, these words can sound more like a prison sentence than a celebration. Year-end holidays, summer vacations, family reunions — moments meant to embody joy and connection — become ordeals you've been dreading for weeks.
You're not alone in this apprehension. According to data from eating disorder organizations, nearly 70% of people with eating disorders report an intensification of symptoms during holiday periods. This reality, far from being minor, deserves to be named, understood, and supported with compassion. The anxiety you feel facing these periods isn't weakness — it's a reflection of a protective mechanism that's trying, however clumsily, to keep you safe.
In my Paris practice, I support dozens of people through these delicate periods each year. What drives me is the deep conviction that understanding the mechanisms at play is already a first step toward peace. Together, we'll explore why holidays are so complex when living with an eating disorder, and more importantly, how you can prepare for and navigate these moments with more serenity — without guilt, without pressure, simply with kindness toward yourself.
As an English-speaking dietitian specializing in eating disorders in Paris, I've worked with international students, expatriates, and long-term foreign residents navigating not just their eating disorder, but also the added layer of being away from home, adjusting to French food culture, and feeling isolated during what's supposed to be "the happiest time of year." This article addresses both the universal challenges of holidays with an eating disorder and the specific struggles faced by those far from their support systems.
🎄 Why Holidays Become Storms When Living with an Eating Disorder
The Paradox of Abundance in a World of Control
For someone who has built a sense of safety around food predictability, holidays represent the exact opposite: total unpredictability. Tables overflow with food, schedules become blurry, meals stretch for hours. This abundance, a symbol of generosity for some, becomes a threat for those who have learned to control every bite.
Anorexia, for example, thrives (if I dare use that word) on structure and restriction. Holidays shatter that structure. Bulimia finds in this profusion a fertile ground for binge episodes, followed by the immense guilt you know all too well. Binge eating disorder sees in these festive meals a social permission to "let go" — except this letting go often transforms into anxiety-provoking loss of control.
Research from health institutions shows that periods of routine disruption increase the risk of relapse or symptom intensification by 40-60% in people in recovery. This isn't your failure — it's a neurobiological reality: your brain, accustomed to certain markers, reacts to their absence as a threat.
Social Pressure: When Love Becomes Intrusive
"Come on, it's the holidays, treat yourself!"
"Is that all you're eating?"
"Have you lost / gained weight?"
"After the holidays, we're all going on a diet!"
You know these phrases. They're not malicious — they're just deeply destabilizing. Your family loves you, your friends care about you, but they don't always understand that these comments, however casual they may seem to them, resonate in you like judgments.
The pressure to "participate" in the meal becomes crushing. Refusing a dish means risking being seen as difficult, ungrateful, or worse — revealing your internal struggle that you'd prefer to keep invisible. A 2024 UK study revealed that 83% of people with eating disorders experience intense anticipatory anxiety about eating in front of loved ones during holidays.
Disruption of Routines: When Anchor Points Collapse
You may have spent months building an eating routine that allows you to function. Fixed schedules, measured quantities, "safe" foods that don't trigger too much anxiety. This routine is your lifeline — and holidays make it disappear.
Vacations bring their share of changes: you sleep elsewhere, eat at odd hours, share the kitchen with other people. For someone in recovery, this loss of environmental control can reactivate compensation mechanisms: increased restriction, physical hyperactivity, isolation.
Data from eating disorder awareness organizations show that routine disruptions during holiday periods are cited as the primary relapse trigger in 58% of studied cases. Again, this isn't a lack of willpower on your part — it's a human reaction to the loss of markers.
Body Exposure: When Others' Gaze Weighs Heavy
Summer brings its own challenges: the beach, swimsuits, light clothing. Winter too: form-fitting sweaters, family photos where you're "compared" to last year. Your body suddenly becomes a subject of conversation, comments, judgments — real or perceived.
For someone living with body dysmorphia (that distortion of body image so common in eating disorders), this exposure becomes unbearable. You can spend hours choosing an outfit that "hides," avoiding photos, inventing excuses not to participate in certain activities.
A 2025 survey reveals that 76% of people with eating disorders actively avoid situations where their body might be "exposed" during vacation periods. This avoidance, while protective in the short term, reinforces isolation and shame.
The Cultural Food Pressure Unique to France
If you're living in France as an expatriate or international student, there's an additional layer: French culture places enormous importance on meals as social rituals. The art of "bien manger" (eating well), the multi-course structure, the time spent at the table — all of this can feel overwhelming when you're already struggling with food.
During holidays, this cultural emphasis intensifies. Christmas réveillon, New Year's dinner, Epiphany galette des rois — each occasion comes with its own food traditions and social expectations that may feel foreign to you, both literally and figuratively.
🧠 Understanding the Mechanisms: Why Your Body and Mind React This Way
Cortisol and Anticipatory Anxiety
Several weeks before holidays, your body is already reacting. Anticipatory anxiety isn't "in your head" — it's a measurable physiological response. Your cortisol level (the stress hormone) increases, which disrupts your hunger and fullness signals, makes sleep more difficult, and intensifies your obsessive thoughts around food.
Elevated cortisol explains why, even when you're trying to "relax," your body remains on alert. This hyper-vigilance depletes your mental and physical resources, leaving you with less energy to cope with actual situations when they arrive.
The Vicious Circle of Restriction and Compensation
Many people with eating disorders adopt a strategy that seems logical: "I'll restrict before / after holidays to compensate." Unfortunately, this strategy doesn't work biologically — it makes the problem worse.
When you severely restrict before a festive meal, your body arrives biologically starved. This hunger, combined with sudden abundance, creates perfect conditions for a binge episode or loss of control. Then comes guilt, followed by new restrictions or compensations, which perpetuate the cycle.
Research has demonstrated that pre-holiday restriction increases the risk of post-meal compensatory behaviors by 70%. Your body, deprived of nutrients, reacts to abundance as a survival emergency — not as a "celebration."
Social Isolation: When Avoidance Becomes the Solution
Facing all this anxiety, a temptation becomes strong: avoid completely. Decline invitations, invent excuses, withdraw into yourself. This avoidance strategy provides immediate relief — you don't have to face the meals, the comments, others' gaze.
But isolation also feeds shame and the feeling of being different, "abnormal." It reinforces the idea that you can't function in normal social situations, which erodes your confidence and self-esteem.
🌍 The Expatriate Factor: Added Layers of Challenge During Holidays
Distance from Your Support System
Being away from home during holidays is hard for anyone, but when you're managing an eating disorder, that distance can feel catastrophic. Your usual therapist, your support group, your understanding friends back home — they're all thousands of miles away. You can't just drop by for an emergency session or call someone who truly gets it without worrying about time zones.
This isolation is compounded during festive seasons when everyone else seems to be surrounded by family. You might be spending Christmas with acquaintances, your host family, or even alone in your Paris apartment while your Instagram feed fills with images of "perfect" holiday gatherings back home.
The loneliness isn't just emotional — it's therapeutic. You're navigating one of the hardest times of year for eating disorder recovery without your usual safety net.
Cultural Food Differences and Unfamiliarity
French holiday meals can be particularly triggering because of their unfamiliarity. If you grew up with American Thanksgiving turkey or British Christmas pudding, the French réveillon with its foie gras, oysters, and bûche de Noël presents a double challenge: not only is there abundant food, but it's food you may not know how to navigate.
Questions spiral: "How much foie gras is normal to eat?" "What if I don't like oysters?" "How do I politely refuse the cheese course without explaining my eating disorder in French?" The anxiety of not knowing the "rules" combines with eating disorder anxiety to create an overwhelming situation.
Moreover, French meals during holidays can last hours — sometimes four or five hours for a Christmas dinner. If you're used to quicker American-style meals, this extended time at the table can feel interminable and exhausting.
Language Barriers in Expressing Needs
Imagine trying to explain your eating disorder boundaries in French when you're already struggling to articulate them in English. The nuance required to say, "I appreciate the offer, but I'm working with a dietitian on a structured meal plan" can be lost in translation, especially if your French isn't fluent.
You might end up:
Unable to communicate your needs clearly to French hosts
Misunderstood as "rude" or "picky" rather than managing a medical condition
Too exhausted from translating in your head to also manage your eating disorder symptoms
Feeling like you're performing a second full-time job just to exist during the holidays
Pressure to "Represent" Your Home Culture
If you're American, British, Australian, or from another English-speaking country, you might face expectations to explain or demonstrate your "traditional" holiday foods to French friends or host families. This can create additional performance anxiety: not only do you have to eat, but you have to be an ambassador for your culture's eating habits.
For someone with an eating disorder, being the center of attention around food — even in a "positive" cultural exchange context — can be deeply uncomfortable.
Financial Stress and Treatment Continuity
Let's be practical: seeing an English-speaking eating disorder specialist in Paris is expensive, and not always covered by basic expat health insurance. During holidays, when expenses pile up (flights home, gifts, higher food costs), you might be tempted to skip therapy appointments or reduce treatment frequency.
This financial pressure to "save money" during the most vulnerable time of year creates a dangerous setup for relapse.
The "Should I Go Home?" Dilemma
One of the most agonizing decisions expatriates with eating disorders face: should you go home for the holidays?
Going home might mean:
Confronting family members who don't understand your eating disorder
Seeing friends who knew you "before" and might comment on changes
Disrupting the routine you've carefully built in Paris
Expensive flights and the stress of travel
Triggering foods and family dynamics you've been working to heal from
Staying in Paris might mean:
Crushing loneliness while everyone else celebrates
No structure because university/work closes
Limited access to support services during holiday closures
Financial worry about affording treatment during break
There's no "right" answer, which itself creates additional stress.
Navigating French Healthcare During Holiday Closures
The French healthcare system essentially shuts down between December 23rd and January 3rd. If you're in crisis, finding English-speaking emergency support becomes extremely difficult. Doctolib appointments disappear, private practices close, and you might be stuck until the New Year.
For someone with an eating disorder, knowing that your safety net is temporarily unavailable can trigger preemptive restriction or binge behaviors just from the anticipatory anxiety.
🛠️ Concrete Strategies: Preparing for and Navigating the Holidays
Before the Holidays: Preparation is Your Ally
1. Map Your Specific Triggers (with Cultural Context)
Take time to identify not just general holiday triggers, but your specific expatriate triggers:
Is it eating unfamiliar French foods?
Is it explaining your boundaries in French?
Is it being far from your therapist during a vulnerable time?
Is it the loneliness of spending holidays away from home?
Write these down. Externalizing helps clarify what's real (legitimate anxiety about a difficult situation) and what's amplified by your disorder (catastrophizing, mind-reading).
2. Build a "Paris Holiday Support Team"
Since you can't rely on your home support system, actively build a local one:
Your English-speaking treatment team: Confirm appointments before AND after holiday periods
A crisis contact person in Paris: Someone who speaks English and understands your situation
International students/expat friends: Others who understand being away from home
Digital support: Join online support groups that operate during holidays
3. Plan Your "Going Home" vs. "Staying" Strategy
If you're going home:
Communicate boundaries to family before you arrive (email/text works better than in-person because it's clearer)
Share your meal plan with your Paris team so they can help you maintain it remotely
Identify one "safe person" back home who will support your recovery
Schedule return-to-Paris appointment immediately after you're back
If you're staying in Paris:
Create a holiday schedule that includes structure (regular mealtimes, activities, self-care)
Identify which services remain open (some clinics, hotlines, online therapy)
Plan non-food-centered activities (museums, walks, cinema)
Join expat holiday gatherings for lonely internationals (Paris has many!)
4. Communicate with French Hosts (If Applicable)
If you're invited to a French holiday meal, you can prepare some key phrases:
In French:
"Je suis suivi(e) par un diététicien pour des raisons médicales, donc je mange différemment." (I'm working with a dietitian for medical reasons, so I eat differently.)
"Merci, c'est délicieux, mais je suis rassasié(e)." (Thank you, it's delicious, but I'm full.)
"Est-ce possible de connaître le menu à l'avance ?" (Is it possible to know the menu in advance?)
In English (for English-speaking hosts): Simply be direct: "I'm managing an eating disorder, so I may eat differently than others. I'd really appreciate if we didn't discuss food or bodies during the meal."
5. Maintain Your Therapy Schedule
Holidays are not the time to interrupt appointments with your treatment team. On the contrary, this is when you need them most. Schedule a session just before and just after critical periods. These anchor points will remind you that you're not alone and that your recovery continues, even during turbulence.
During the Holidays: Tools to Navigate
1. The "Anchor Person" Technique
Identify a safe person — a friend, an understanding family member — who will be your "anchor" during meals. Agree on a discreet signal (touching your bracelet, catching their eye) to indicate you need help: changing the subject, leaving the table, getting some air together.
If you're alone in Paris, this can be a WhatsApp contact you check in with before/during/after difficult moments.
2. Strategic Breaks
You don't have to stay at the table the entire time. Offer to clear dishes, fetch something from the kitchen, walk the dog, call someone. These micro-breaks give you space to breathe, regulate your emotions, reconnect with yourself.
Cultural note: French meals last longer than Anglo-Saxon ones. Taking breaks is not only okay — it's almost expected during marathon holiday dinners.
3. The "Plan B" Food Strategy
Discuss with the host before the meal. Can you bring a dish you know you can eat? Can you know the menu in advance to anticipate? Having even small control over your food environment can significantly reduce anxiety.
For expatriates: If you're invited to a French home, bringing a dish from your home culture can be both culturally appropriate and personally helpful. "I'd love to share an American/British/Australian tradition" gives you a guaranteed safe food.
4. Pre-Prepared Phrases to Deflect Comments
When someone makes an inappropriate comment, having ready responses helps:
In English:
"I'd rather we talk about something other than food today."
"Thanks for your concern, but I'm followed by medical professionals."
"Let's change the subject — did you see the latest...?"
In French:
"Je préfère qu'on parle d'autre chose que de nourriture."
"Merci de vous inquiéter, mais je suis suivi(e) médicalement."
"Parlons d'autre chose — tu as vu le dernier...?"
These phrases create a firm but kind boundary.
5. Real-Time Self-Compassion
If you have a binge, if you restrict more than planned, if you isolate yourself — remember that you're doing your best in an extraordinarily difficult situation. Perfection doesn't exist. Recovery isn't linear. Every moment you choose to stay present, even in discomfort, is a victory.
Expatriate-specific compassion: You're managing an eating disorder and cultural adjustment and being away from home during holidays. That's three major stressors at once. Give yourself credit for even getting through the day.
After the Holidays: Repairing Without Punishing
1. Resist the Urge to "Compensate"
January 1st arrives with its parade of "resolutions," diets, "detoxes." For you, these messages are toxic. Resisting the urge to severely restrict after holidays is crucial. Returning to your usual routine — not a punished version — is what truly supports your recovery.
In France, the "galette des rois" (Epiphany cake) tradition in early January means holiday eating extends even further. Be prepared for this and don't let it derail your post-holiday recovery.
2. Compassionate Debriefing
Take a moment to note what went well. Yes, you read that right: what went well. Which moments did you enjoy? Which strategies worked? Where were you stronger than you thought?
This recognition practice doesn't erase difficulties, but it rebalances the narrative you tell yourself.
3. Reconnect with Your Team
Your dietitian, your therapist, your psychiatrist — they're here to help you process what happened, without judgment. This isn't a "fault report," it's a space for reflection and adjustment.
For expatriates: If you went home for holidays, this reconnection appointment is crucial. It helps you transition back to your Paris routine and process whatever happened back home.
📚 For Loved Ones: How to Support Without Harming
What You Need to Understand
Your son, daughter, partner, friend is suffering from a serious psychiatric illness, not a whim or lack of willpower. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses. Your support can literally save a life — provided it's well-directed.
Mistakes to Avoid
❌ Commenting on Appearance or Quantities:
"You look better / healthier!" → Avoid completely.
"Is that all you're eating?" → Never say.
❌ Forcing Someone to Eat:
Pressure worsens anxiety. You can't "feed" someone into recovery.
❌ Talking About Diets, Calories, "Good" and "Bad" Foods:
These conversations are major triggers.
❌ Minimizing or Comparing:
"I watch what I eat too," "You're not that thin/fat" — these phrases invalidate suffering.
What Actually Helps
✅ Normalize Non-Commentary:
Act as if eating were a non-topic. Talk about movies, books, projects, memories.
✅ Offer Non-Food-Centered Activities:
Suggest a walk, a game, looking at photos together — create connection moments that don't go through the table.
✅ Respect Needs for Space:
If the person needs to isolate, let them do so without guilt.
✅ Affirm Your Unconditional Support:
"I'm here for you, no matter what happens" — these words matter enormously.
✅ Educate Yourself:
Read about eating disorders, listen to testimonials, understand mechanisms. Your knowledge reduces misunderstandings and frustration on both sides.
For French Hosts of International Guests with Eating Disorders
If you're hosting an English-speaking friend, student, or colleague who has an eating disorder:
Do:
Ask them privately beforehand if there are specific ways you can help
Offer the menu in advance
Create opportunities for them to take breaks
Keep conversations away from food, bodies, and diets
Have "safe" food options available (simple, familiar foods)
Don't:
Make their eating the center of attention
Insist they try everything
Comment on how much or little they eat
Ask them to explain eating disorders to other guests
Assume they're just being "polite" when they decline food
Cultural bridge: Explain to other French guests that your international friend has dietary requirements for medical reasons, just as you would for an allergy. This frames it as medical, not personal.
🌅 Message of Hope: Holidays Can Become Gentle Again
I won't lie to you by pretending holidays will suddenly become easy. That would be irresponsible and false. But I can tell you this with certainty: they can become more bearable, then gradually peaceful, and maybe even, one day, enjoyable.
I've seen patients who trembled at the thought of Christmas Eve, arrive three years later to share a holiday meal with their family feeling joy — not terror. This path exists. It's winding, dotted with relapses and repeated efforts, but it exists.
Every holiday you navigate, even with difficulty, is practice. Your brain learns, little by little, that you can survive these situations. That anxiety, however intense, eventually subsides. That you are stronger than your disorder wants you to believe.
Holidays may never be your favorite time of year — and that's okay. But they can stop being a nightmare. And that, in itself, is an immense victory.
For expatriates specifically: You're building resilience not just in eating disorder recovery, but in cross-cultural adaptation, in living independently abroad, in managing life in a non-native language. That's extraordinary. The fact that you're even reading this article, seeking help, trying to prepare — that shows strength that many people can't imagine.
The holidays you spend in Paris, even if they're hard, are teaching you that you can survive discomfort, that you can build safety in new places, that you are more capable than you knew. These are skills that will serve you far beyond eating disorder recovery.
Conclusion
Living with an eating disorder during holidays and vacations means confronting an emotional, social, and biological storm. But this storm isn't your fault, and you don't have to weather it alone.
Specialized eating disorder dietetic support doesn't mean forcing you to eat or following a rigid plan. It means understanding your specific triggers, building your personalized strategies, and offering you a space where your suffering is recognized without judgment.
In my Paris practice (6th, 20th arrondissements, and Le Raincy), I support people from all backgrounds — international students, expatriates, long-term Paris residents — through these delicate periods. My approach is non-restrictive, compassionate, and grounded in the most recent science on eating disorders.
As an English-speaking dietitian, I understand the unique challenges of managing an eating disorder while navigating life in France. I can help you:
Understand French food culture without it triggering your eating disorder
Communicate your needs in both languages
Build a support system in Paris
Navigate French healthcare for eating disorder treatment
Maintain recovery during holidays when you're far from home
If you recognize yourself in these lines, if holidays are approaching and anxiety is rising, know that you deserve support. You deserve to navigate these periods with more serenity. You deserve to heal.
Living and eating are two sides of the same coin.
Lighten your relationship with food and free yourself from what doesn't serve you!
📞 Making an Appointment
Alexis Alliel
Dietitian Nutritionist Specialized in Eating Disorders
Bilingual French / English
📍 Paris 6th: 59 rue de Seine (Cabinet Lionnes - Tuesday, Wednesday)
📍 Paris 20th: 11 rue Saint-Blaise (Monday)
📍 Le Raincy (93): By appointment
💻 Video consultations available (especially helpful for expatriates)
📞 Phone: +33 6 22 41 55 21
🗓️ Doctolib: Book online
✉️ Email: Contact form on website
RPPS: 10007258733
ADELI Number: 75 95 0878 1
Insurance & Payment:
French mutuelle (complementary insurance) often covers part of dietitian fees
International insurance accepted (ask your provider about "diététicien" coverage)
Receipts provided for reimbursement
Payment in euros by card, check, or cash
📚 Complementary Resources
On This Website:
English-Speaking Support Organizations in France:
SOS Anor: Information and support (some English resources)
📍 59 rue de Seine, 75006 Paris (same building as my Tuesday/Wednesday office)
🌐 https://sosanor.org/LIONNES (Cabinet Féministe): Feminist health collective with English-speaking practitioners
11 rue Saint Blaise
American Hospital of Paris: English-speaking psychiatry and psychology services
📍 63 Boulevard Victor Hugo, 92200 Neuilly-sur-Seine
🌐 https://www.american-hospital.org/
International Support:
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) - US-based helpline (works internationally)
📞 +1-800-931-2237 | 🌐 https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/Beat Eating Disorders - UK-based support
📞 +44-808-801-0677 | 🌐 https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)
🌐 https://anad.org/
French Organizations (with some English resources):
FFAB (Fédération Française Anorexie Boulimie): Helpline and resources
📞 0810 037 037 (French helpline, not surcharged)
🌐 https://www.ffab.fr/Anorexie-et-boulimie.fr: Information and testimonials
🌐 https://www.anorexie-et-boulimie.fr/
Vivre et manger sont les deux faces de la même pièce
Lighten your relationship with food and free yourself from what hinders you!
+33 6 22 41 55 21
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RPPS : 10007258733
N° ADELI : 75 95 0878 1